Birth to Day Six

Dear Clara Jane:

As you lie here in my arms, I sit here processing your birth.  I spent two days in prodromal labor.  This means my body was contracting like I was in labor but I did not dilate.  At the doctors appointment before we went to the hospital the midwife said I was one centimeter.  That is where I stayed for two nights contracting.  The first night we went to the hospital, Heather the midwife gave me a shot with Phenergan to sleep and Morphine for pain in order to help me relax and sleep.  The next night with the same contractions, we went back.  I still had not progressed.  Finally, after talking with your father Chris and your Godmother Elizabeth we made the decision to induce.  I got to four centimeters and when they put in the epidural.  That is when I rested for a while.  When I woke up, I was 9.5 centimeters and 90% effaced.  Heather the midwife caught you and Diana the nurse was our nurse. After 55 minutes of pushing, you emerged as the love of my life and the source of my sunshine.  I cried as my heart erupted with love for you.

We spent two days at Wake Med hospital in Cary with wonderful nurses and practitioners.  A lovely lactation specialist found your tongue tie and told us that we nursed like champs.  There we received a lot of encouragement and support to know that we will be able to take you home and keep you thriving.  You had tons of visitors. The security man said that we were a popular couple.  You are a popular girl!  After your daddy and I, your Grandpa Miser held you.  His eyes welled up with tears as he prayed your first prayer over you.  Every moment in the hospital was special as different people who surround our family visited.

Wednesday, at 1 pm the drive home was the longest drive of my life.  Your daddy drove us home in my blue Focus with me in the passenger seat.  When we got home, a lovely lady from Church Alive met us with a meal.  I never knew pot roast could tasted like fine dining.  That night Lamar, your Godfather, and his girlfriend Rayna came over and we went to Rooms to go to pick out your Disney nursery.  It was my dream for you to have a beautiful nursery and now it is one step closer to reality.

Thursday we went to your first doctors appointment.  Dr. Galla clipped your tongue tie and said that you are a champion of eating.  Also, you weighed 8'3 which is an ounce away from your birth weight.  This is when I realized that these frequent doctors appointments are for people like us, your paranoid parents.  After our Doctors appointment, our biggest concern went from how much you are peeing to getting you up to birth weight.

Friday went by quickly as we went to the grocery store and managed to consume two meals and get a good nights sleep between the two us.  We enjoyed the day just the three of us.

Yesterday, your grandparents from both sides of the family came over to meet you and eat dinner.  Your dad's parents got to hold you for the first time.  My parents got to feel you melt into their arms once again.  Your aunt Ja'Lisa, your Godmother Liz, and Riley also came.  The room was full of love for you and that evening was a blessing for us.  Everyone took a turn holding you and you slept like a champ through all of the commotion.  That evening Lisa, your dad's coworker, came over with her daughter and she got to hold you.  It was a nice end to the evening.

Everyday has gotten a little easier.  We are growing a little more confident in our abilities to meet your needs.  You are eating like a champ every two hours and clustering from 8 to midnight.  During the night, you managed to let us get sleep for a few hours and spent a record of two hours in your bassinet.  I cant wait until the crib comes so i don't have to worry so much about breaking you.

Not being pregnant anymore has made me more emotional that I have ever been.  Eating has been a treat; and sleeping has been even rarer than that. It feels like we are running off of pure adrenaline.  I get overwhelmed at everything.  The grocery store feels bigger, more crowded, and full of concern.  When you cry it feels like something is breaking inside of me.  They call this the Baby Blues.  Hopefully in a few months going out and fresh air will become a the center of our day instead of my worries.

Love, Mommy