While I gaze upon the purest essence of life snuggled into my bosom sleeping like an angel, I fear each moment that passes knowing it is a tiny step closer to her adult life. Everyday I pray over her health, her salvation, and her ability to sleep through the night. Deep down I am not convinced that I need the sleep because I know it will turn into hours that she will spend alone in a cold, white washed crib. While every new mom longs for the day she can pridefully reclaim her side of the bed and her love life back, nothing is more fulfilling than the smiling coos of her infant, even at two o'clock in the morning. To know, as her mom, I hold the key to her nourishment and security is fulfilling beyond the desire for any man's wealth. 
The love of a mother is beyond explanation. It fears the pressure of the world, it guards like bear, and hurts at even the prospect of hurt upon her little one. While anyone can care for a child and it may seem like parenthood, nothing claims that definition until you become one. Your fears, hopes, desires, dreams, and your world in its entirety turn to focus on the welfare of your precious gift from God. To know God blessed me with the opportunity to borrow his angel for a short time on earth provides me with the question of how I got so lucky.
The words "good" and "bad" in regards to parenting on November 5, 2012 suddenly became my cross of burden hoping she will be a reflection of my best efforts and intentions. The hopes of being socially defined as a "good parent" reflects my anxieties about the lack of instruction manual provided beyond a video about the effects of shaking her. While it shouldn't matter what people think of me as a parent, my daughter becomes society's judgement of whether or not she is spoiled, well cared for, advanced, or not socialized enough or too much.
Three months has become an eternity and a blink of an eye condensed into unexpected journey. I would never have expected a relationship to become such a challenge with addition of a baby. Your every happiness is our desire and sometimes our contention with each other. While we strain to make sure you will be amazing one day, we have to remind ourselves that we have to date and even hug and kiss periodically. Our picture perfect relationship beginning has turned into a bumpy joyride. But everyday is will reach the goal of being the best parent for you and the best spouse for each other.
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Clara,
You make milestones look easy. While you aren't eating solids yet, you are trying to become a supported sitter, you are belly laughing, and you roll over in the blink of an eye. Your babbles sound like you are trying to tell us stories and you have bonded with daddy in a way that makes your mommy jealous. When you used to scream at Daddy, I prayed for you to bond with him and now you have a love like no other for him. Mommy is so happy!
You spent your first valentines day with Mimi and Grandpa while your mommy and daddy had dinner at home by candle light. It was the perfect evening and you were so happy to see us. We missed you so much we came back early to get you.
Love Always,
Mommy
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